I am basking in a granola moment with hot black tea stirred with organic half & half, plain Kefir sprinkled with Grape Nuts, and ribbons of frankincense floating in the air. I am wearing Birkenstocks and I just arrived home from a quick trip to the mecca of granola, Whole Foods. The granola moment is fading to peace. I am seated at my desk looking out our bedroom window at the balconies of several neighbors and dusk blue sky. Harley Cat is begging me to play but I need to sit. Work was actually enjoyable but after seven hours on my feet sitting is a neccesity. Speaking of good ole work, as of this week we have five security cameras placed around the store and the cameras not only have video but oh yes, audio. This is because one of my co-workers is an Idiot and recently stole money out of a register drawer and from one of my other co-workers. Thanks a freaking lot. I was already beginning to tire of my job and pray to find a new job but now the fatigue and prayers might pick up at rapid speed. While working I get a glimpse of what it must be like to participate in a TV reality show. No thank you. The only eyes I want watching me 24/7 are God Almighty and even then there are plenty of times I wish He would not look. It is not that I have anything to hide at work but just ponder my predicament for a minute and you might sympathize. As annoying as the cameras are we may be able to have fun with them. My managers discovered you can talk through the security monitor that displays each of the camera's projections. For example, in the Dreaded Buy Area (I LOATHE buying books from the public. God is kind and I barely work in that area of the store.) the camera faces outward showing the customers who walk up to sell books. I was talking to my assistant manager in her office today watching the Dreaded Buy Area and we spied one of our crazy customers (Literally - he is Nutty.) and my manager so badly wanted to speak through the monitor and say, "This is the voice of God," pronounce a judgement, give ten commandments, or say, "I love you My Child." She really wanted to BAD. However, if she had done so, that man would have cowered, cried, fell prostrate on the dirty carpet, confessed his sins, or leapt for joy and kissed my female co-workers. I guess you had to be there but it was quite tempting. Did I mention we record the security camera footage? I think we should make a documentary and win a shiny Independent Film award. With a liberal, female god we just might win!
Posted by jenni at 9:00 PM