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2/22/2004

I did complete my work by midnight. I was delayed the night before last due to a friend's constant IMing. Normally I welcome hellos from friends as I work, but this friend is not well, not stable, and in denial of her problems. She's been mean as the dickens lately, so I've had to step back from my previous, normal involvement in her life. She was mean before at times, but at some point I broke down emotionally and realized it was not healthy to be around her day in and day out. I would do it all again, but I must embark on a different path and pray for her from afar. She has officially cut me out of her life because I would not stop working that night and call her right then, within the next 10 minutes. I explained I was working and would call her this weekend, but no. Goodbye to me. I am partially relieved, but her decision was impulsive and unexpected. However, "Thy will be done."

(By the way, my friend's saga is a much longer story for another day. Maybe.)

That night I dreamed a scene: my friend swinging on a tree swing. It was a tall tree in a dimly lit forest. I was standing below, watching her. She just stared ahead, and kept swinging. She swung higher and higher, back and forth. So high that I was concerned. I called out, "Hey, you better stop. You are swinging too high." She either did not hear me or was ignoring me, much like real life. Then something bad happened. I guess she fell off or jumped, but I don't know if she did this while swinging forward or backward. I may never know.

The previously mentioned interview was with a songwriter named Lori Chaffer. She released her first solo CD, 1beginning, in January. Here are lyrics from the song "If I Said I Don't Mind":

Way down low, way up high
don't seem to matter which side you used to fight.
All you gotta do is get by
another day, another night.
The sea's a little deep, the sea's a little wild
I don't care what you answer most of the time
but right now it would be a lie
if I said I don't mind.
You drink a little gin to lift the load
you cut your skin so you won't explode
all you really want is to be left alone
or so we're told.
You seem a little weak just like a little child
I don't care what you answer most of the time
but right now it would be a lie
if I said I don't mind
well I mind, well I mind.

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