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10/14/2005

Run, Katie, back to the nuns!


Two of the many reasons I adore my husband are his intellectual perspective on any topic and his politically-incorrect way of speaking his mind. Last night we were in relax-mode for the evening, watching Alias. I remarked that Jennifer Garner looked cute kicking butt, pregnant and all, which reminded me of something I heard in the news. Creepy and also pregnant TomKat (the media's annoying nomenclature for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Excuse me, Kate Holmes, says Tom) are planning to obey Scientology's traditional birthing method: silent delivery. If I understand this procedure correctly, during delivery the mother must keep completely silent, not one peep, until the baby is out and smacked on its behind. Scientologists such as TomKat and the Travoltas say this method is most beneficial because any screams of agony or exclamations of pain will disturb the baby's psyche and guarantee a traumatic, troubled life of some sort. I was relating all this to Johnny and he exclaimed, "You know what that is?! That is Scientology giving the finger to *God's curse at the Fall." And then my husband chugged the last of his martini and proceeded to flip that particular finger in righteous anger to the very thought of silent birth!

I love Johnny.

*(God says to Eve in Genesis 3:16a, "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children")

2 comments:

gregg said...

I always enjoy Johnny's wisdom on the FDMB, where I am sure he tones it down a little. I can only imagine an uncensored Johnny! :)

Free Katie!

Kimberly said...

Great!!! Run, Katie, Run like the wind!!!