Neighbors

This morning I woke before dawn's light in order to coordinate mine and Johnny's bathroom schedules as we prepared for John Berry's funeral. After I showered and kissed Johnny's slumbering head, I boiled water for tea. Then I lit a Mexican vanilla candle with an orange butterfly etched on the slender glass. I look at that candle day after day yet it held significance this morning, this day of mourning, for Christians find symbolism of Jesus' resurrection in a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, transformed into grace-wings. As Jesus died in agony and emerged from his tomb defeating death, my friend Kierstin can grasp comfort that her Dad's suffering through cancer is finished - when he exhaled his last peaceful breath he only died to our comprehension but he is alive. As I blew out the match and gazed into the glowing vanilla butterfly I silently offered thanksgiving to God for saving John Berry, and Mr. Simmons. Kierstin's Dad and Johnny's Dad are both buried in Houston National Cemetery and sweet Kierstin managed to make a little joke regarding our beloved neighbors. After the military service for her father Johnny and I waited near the back of the outdoor shelter. Kierstin spotted us, smiled through tears, and walked back and hugged our necks. I tried to hug all the pain out of her. Then she said to Johnny, "Our Dads can keep each other company, they can talk now." I thought, how true; they can converse endlessly, free of pain, and praise Jesus with all the departed saints. Before leaving the cemetery Johnny and I visited his Dad's grave. We felt a wave of missing him wash over us just as real as if we were standing in the ocean.

Once home I was pensive. I kept seeing Kierstin's sad yet peace-filled face which made me cry during the funeral. I kept thinking of my father-in-law. I read today's Psalms which include Psalm 62. One of my favorite songs we sing in Church is "Only in God" by John Michael Talbot, based on Psalm 62. This song is a much better word-offering than my measly blog entry:

Only in God is my soul at rest
in Him comes my salvation.
He only is my rock
my strength and my salvation.

My stronghold, my Savior,
I shall not be afraid at all.
My stronghold, my Savior,
I shall not be moved.

Only in God is found safety
when my enemy pursues me
Only in God is found glory
when I am found meek and found lowly.

My stronghold, my Savior,
I shall not be afraid at all.
My stronghold, my Savior,
I shall not be moved.

Only in God is my soul at rest, in Him comes my salvation.

If only you could hear the melody. I often sing this song aloud at home when I feel weak. I sang it today praying strength for Kierstin, her Dad's wife June, and John's siblings. And thinking, these words hold the Truth that carried John Berry through suffering, Mr. Simmons through illness, and up into the realms of Heaven where their souls are at rest. I'd say that is an idyllic atmosphere for man-to-man conversation.