Here is a repetitive statement within this blog: I hurt my back again. It is a condition Johnny deemed "Backula." I regret wearing cute Chinese Mary Jane shoes (with no arch support) while working at the bookstore. They were cute, but not the correct attire for standing on my feet five days a week. Ever since then I've had an obnoxious sensitive back.
Last Tuesday I was sitting on the couch, leaned over to place a notebook on the coffee table, and wa-la - PAIN. I said a certain four-letter word over and over, then this mantra aloud, "It's ok, it's ok, it's ok..." I visited the doctor two days later with much less pain, but tingling all over my body which he enlightened me was partially related to the muscle spasm (feet and legs) and partially due to anxiety (face and hands). I left his office with a mild dosage of Valium prescribed for both a muscle relaxer and to calm me the hell down.
With no desire to be hooked on Valium, I've been using an amazing homeopathic cure - Rescue Remedy. It is five flower essences that I swear to God actually work quickly. So does prayer, inhaling lavender oil, applying lavender to my wrists and temples, inhaling Tranquility oil (lavender, balsam fir needle, patchouli, palmarosa, geranium, and Roman chamomile), and breathing deeply. Feeling I was in the clear last night, I bent down to pick up Milo (offering consolation for his neutering today) and for crying out loud, the same pain returned. I was extremely frustrated, to state it in ladylike terms. Johnny handed me a glass of merlot, a few hours later I took a Valium against my will (for my muscles), and slept like I've never slept before.
I woke up rather late still wobbly and in pain, but I've resumed my normal regimen of heat/stretch/ice/Olba's salve. I believe muscle spasms take awhile to truly heal. Once this lovely spasm vanishes, I say to the whole, wide blog world: I vow to attend my friend's Pilates class and visit the gym regularly. And stretch every morning and evening even if it is bor-ing. Maybe take up Yoga for variety. I want to lose ten pounds anyway so all in all, this is an excellent plan, especially to strengthen my back.
For today, I am determined to keep my spirits up instead of depression and a bad attitude that secludes Johnny into the study, doors closed. He is my hero. He fixed me honey-soaked oatmeal and French Roast coffee. He unloaded the dishwasher. He vacuumed. He helped me stretch while I grumbled. My two cents worth of marriage advice is that if you are not willing to care for your spouse while they are hurt and grumpy or disgustingly sick (like vomit or worse), you probably should not ponder matrimony.
Johnny left to teach drum lessons and I am hurting, but stable with improvement. I've entertained myself by spending too much time online. I've also been singing along to some favorite songs which is sublime therapy. When I'm alone I love to sing. I'm not a great singer, but I sing fairly well in solitude and I received my vibrato from Papaw.
My singing set list with a little chair-dancing:
"Stay on the Ride"
"Crying Over" (all by Patty Griffin)
"Closer to You" (Brandi Carlile)
"Three More Days" (Ray LaMontagne)
"History of Lovers"
"Prison on Route 41" (both by Iron and Wine & Calexico)
And oh yes, more Photo Booth!
Scary, and nice teeth:
Feeling blue. Do I have something on my face?
I love how in the following picture and the one above, the shadows do nothing to flatter my face shape. This is called the "Glow" effect:
A painting I love, Courage to be (Saint Joan of Arc) by Meltem Aktas, also using "Glow:"
That's all the self-absorption I have time for today. If I must sit on my butt I'm going to read and sip green tea.
Posted by jenni at 9:00 PM