Lately, my fight for health and faith has been difficult again. I am weary to the bone. I'm often tempted to throw in the tea towel and give up, but deep in my soul I just can't. I wouldn't feel any better for one thing, and for another, I do believe yeast will lose this battle here soon, not to mention that I also still believe God is making my womb hospitable for bambinos (yeast toxins don't really get hospitality). And by "soon" I mean God's perspective of time at this point. 2+ years is not "soon" to me, but then again, God is God and I am not, glory hallelujah.
I'm heeding Anne Lamott's advice from a chapter in Bird by Bird:
" . . . a story that I know I've told elsewhere but that over and over helps me to get a grip: thirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at the time, was trying to get a report on birds written that he'd had three months to write, which was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother's shoulder, and said, 'Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.'"
Not only is this great writing advice, but I also find it comforting in regards to slow healing. "Do not be anxious about tomorrow." "Bird by bird." One day at a time, right? And all the while, God has this, as Johnny says. If I weren't a Calvinist, I might lose my ever living mind. Oh, and speaking of Calvinism, I insist that you read this beautiful meditation on the literary Calvinism of Marilynne Robinson by none other than Peter Leithart. Amazing.
So, our life is hard right now. Baffling. Exhausting. But sooo blessed. You know how I described the bounty of dietary simplicity in this Comment article? Well, it gets even better. Last night, my amazing husband marinated chicken in a tandoori masala paste (from a local Indo-Pak grocery store) and coconut milk. Then we feasted on that tandoori chicken, papadums (thank God for lentil flour), and mint chutney. Wow.
AND my Facebook friend Becki shared her almond flour scone recipe. I tweaked it just a little to obey doctor's orders, but I must say, yum! Scones! Baked goods ease the suffering a whole lot.
Cinnamon Walnut Scones
* Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
1/4 cup unsweetened applesauce (or erythritol)
4 egg whites
1/4 cup coconut oil, melted
1/2 teaspoon Celtic sea salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoons cinnamon
A shake or two (or three) of allspice [I used pumpkin pie spice this time]
1/2 teaspoon cardamom [I used nutmeg . . . ]
2 3/4 cup Honeyville almond flour
1 cup walnuts, chopped
1. Beat applesauce, egg whites, and coconut oil.
2. Add sea salt, baking soda, cinnamon, allspice, and cardamom.
3. Stir in almond flour and walnuts to make a fairly stiff dough.
4. Drop by large spoonfuls on a baking stone or cookie sheet lined with parchment paper.
5. Flatten scone a little with wet fingers or spatula.
[I didn't do this - I like them fluffy.]
6. Sprinkle extra cinnamon on top before baking.
7. Bake 20-30 minutes until nicely browned, firm when a toothpick is inserted, and hollow sounding when tapped.
8. Cool on a rack. Will keep at room temperature for a week.
9. Serve warm with French pressed coffee or a stiff cup of tea. Enjoy, y'all.
[This photograph is rife with imperfections - click to see larger. . . . Like the fingerprints on the jar since I can't keep my grubby paws outta the scones. I don't care; I'm just happy to be playing with the camera again. I keep meaning to learn more about photography, but my writing and the forthcoming Art House America project top my to-do list right now. Such work keeps me quite busy, but it's a very inspiring kind of busy. I cannot wait to share more about the Art House project in good time . . . ]