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8/23/2004

I have never claimed to be normal, if there is such a state as normality, because I know that I am not. For example, at my old job I was often in a troubled state of mind for too many reasons to write of today. So I would escape to the bathroom and pray in a stall preferably when the entire bathroom was vacant for reasons you may imagine. Before you quit reading out of disgusted alarm let me assure you I never actually used the restroom while praying. It was merely a quiet place to plead before God vs. in front of a computer screen at my desk.

I don't know if praying in strange places will become habitual for me but it is a realistic possibility because I often pray in the shower as well. This is more common and I find it very symbolic: standing before Almighty God filthy, uncovered, and exposed yet cleansed by the shower of Jesus's blood; my prayers a pleasing scent before God as a vanilla aroma envelops me. I am able to be in solitude with God, in my monastic cell, unleashing my weak heart as warm water pours overhead reminding me of Baptism. I doubt anyone else prays while bathing but I am a visual person and the shower is significant symbolism to grasp the glory and mystery not only of prayer but also of Grace: my sins washed far, down, and away to the depths of the sea and earth for God to remember no more. I step out of the shower with thanksgiving once again clean - a mysterious wonder indeed.

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