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9/07/2007

Walking in That White Fire

Smoothie for a snack, hair up, and we're off!
A retrospective from this week:






(The front of Johnny's T-shirt reads: "Calvinism/This Shirt Chose Me")















Speaking of clouds, they've been on my mind. When I've felt bad lately, I inevitably end up on my back to rest. It shows that I don't rest or cloud-watch enough because I gaze at the puffs of precipitation with wide-eyed wonder. For example, on our drive back from Austin I leaned back the seat, shut my eyes for awhile, then opened my peepers to see snowy clouds. I also concluded that our bedroom, master bath, and guest bath walls are that exact color of the sky: Mediterranean ocean-blue.

One recent night I had trouble sleeping and I arose extremely irritated. I spotted Milo's petite shadow-outline on our bathroom windowsill. I pulled back the tapestry curtain to see what in the Sam Hill he was looking at. He didn't tell me, but since nothing exciting was happening in our backyard (previous owners' old wooden swing set frame, a cypress tree that needs pruning), I looked upward. The sky was slate gray - the color of Harley - and clouds pregnant with rain floated by ever so slowly. Like it was a secret. Or they were trying not to wake anybody. And somehow, they seemed majestic. At any moment God would give the OK and those clouds would water the earth, our lawn, and the neighborhood foliage.

When I grow weary in the afternoon, I'm most likely up to no good on my laptop, sitting on the living room couch. I set the virtual world aside and recline in such a way as to see past the windows. Not much is visible from this vantage point except our neighbors' roof and clouds of the day - stormy, white, or sparse. I almost always see a few birds perched comfortably on the roof next door or a few ravens circling overhead.

Something about today's clouds, full and bright, caused me to recall this verse:

"Thy mercy, O Lord, reacheth unto the heavens: and Thy faithfulness unto the clouds."
(Psalm 36:5)

So I know why clouds have been on the brain. Yes, the Hotze treatment is working, but I remember my first visit to their clinic. My doctor said this treatment takes several months for some people to feel as if it's working, and I think I'm one of those people (it's been 2-3 months for me). But whether I have a good or crappy day, God's mercy fills the volume of a container, the top of which meets the height of clouds, the sky's apex, or so it seems. I believe the sky stretches higher. The Lord's faithfulness is equally sweeping, and always when mine doesn't get past our back door.

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