The good news is that I'm up to 5 Nystatin pills - the feisty guys. This is significant progress and I'm thankful. The bad news is that detox sucks. Actually, the die-off this time around is tolerable enough that I feel like I can continue, but yeast toxins love to camp out in neck and shoulder muscles and that is painful. Ouch. They also like to hinder sleep and I have to say, they did a great job last night. Not even Johnny's selfless, nocturnal back rubs worked the usual magic. Nor did any calming supplements - I tried valerian and 5-HTP (50 mg).
[last night I tried Hotze's Sleep Formula and it worked beautifully. It contains a much higher dose of 5-HTP (500 mg), plus valerian and chamomile and a few other things.]

Finally, at 5:30 am, I decided to let my husband sleep for a few hours, so I stumbled into the early morning darkness. I fed the cats who were pleasantly surprised to eat so early. Yesterday I added cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves to yerba mate (tea), so today it was coffee. I lit pumpkin spice and beeswax candles. I whispered Morning Prayer with extra Psalms. I perused the Apocryphal story, "The Song of the Three Children" (as in Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego) which is very worth your time. I read more of Acedia & Me - I'm really getting into it now.

And then, I watched a sunrise. Like, I was somewhat overly excited. The ink-black sky lightened a little, then all the sudden peeled off layers of various shades of blue. It concluded with soft, white light filling the sky, spilling below. Light seeping into the kitchen. The lotus flower window on the front door glowed with daylight. If only I had the words for these ethereal sunrise hues. To think this happens every day when all I see are my eyelids.

We keep discussing the fact that it's high time for patio furniture, seeing as it's autumn and all. If I got to bed on time and actually slept, I think a sunrise on the back patio would be amazing. A hot beverage, a sweater - yes. Time to go shopping; the outdoor set doesn't have to be fancy.

Johnny just left for a gig at HBU, but I made sure he'll run by Starbucks for his usual venti-triple-whole milk cappuccino - he needs the fuel. We'll both be napping today. And I'll be:

-keeping a heating pad on my neck.

-killing more yeast toxins - I'm not giving up now. I've got one more pill to go, tolerate 6 pills for a few weeks, and then the Lord will bring healing in His wings.

-reading more of Kathleen Norris and Somaly Mam, and issue three of this joy+ride featuring photographs by my good blog-friend, Nicole!

-soaking in a long, hot Epsom salt bath.

-drinking bedtime tea and climbing into bed early. And praying for sweet sleep so that I can enjoy later morning light tomorrow.


Kimberly said...

Woo hoo! You're almost done!!! Hang in there. The insomnia is the enemy's way of trying to discourage you. Hold on to your promise of healing (and other things) and keep pressing forward. Enjoy the sunrises. They're promises of new things to come.

Christine said...

such a peaceful morning. hang in there, you're almost there! i'm so proud of you.

jenni said...

Thank you both.